This past week a lady in our church had a beautiful little boy. On Sunday I talked to her mother and she told me how her daughter was feeling, how her grandson was sleeping and how all his siblings were adjusting. She knew all this because she had been staying at her daughters house since the baby had come home. She even mentioned that her daughter really needed some rest so she had kept the baby downstairs where she was staying so that her daughter could rest a little. As she spoke I felt envy creep into my heart.

It comes quickly and surprises me everytime. I have experienced it more since moving closer to our family.  I suppose it is my expectations that have gotten me in trouble. My mind knows people are not always what we want them to be, but my heart still breaks.

Father, help me not to be angry with family who do not fit my idea of what they should be. Help me instead be the best Daughter, Sister, Aunt I can be. And when my children grow older and have their own children remind me of the things you are teaching me now.

Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendour
You’re close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I cannot look away, I cannot look away…

Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face

Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my gaze
I become more like You and my heart is changed
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view
Transform me into the likeness of You

This is what I ask, for all my days
That I may, never look away, never look away…
No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away
I just can’t look away

Father, let my life be one unbroken gaze, fixed upon the beauty of your face.