We are currently expecting our fourth child. This will be our third little boy. This will be our first baby in our new home, in a new town, with a new doctor. We are also surrounded, for the first time, by Grandparents, Parents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. Yet the support we have here pales drastically in comparison to the support we found in our former home, surrounded by friends who had no blood ties to us.
This past week a lady in our church had a beautiful little boy. On Sunday I talked to her mother and she told me how her daughter was feeling, how her grandson was sleeping and how all his siblings were adjusting. She knew all this because she had been staying at her daughters house since the baby had come home. She even mentioned that her daughter really needed some rest so she had kept the baby downstairs where she was staying so that her daughter could rest a little. As she spoke I felt envy creep into my heart.
It comes quickly and surprises me everytime. I have experienced it more since moving closer to our family. I suppose it is my expectations that have gotten me in trouble. My mind knows people are not always what we want them to be, but my heart still breaks.
Father, help me not to be angry with family who do not fit my idea of what they should be. Help me instead be the best Daughter, Sister, Aunt I can be. And when my children grow older and have their own children remind me of the things you are teaching me now.
